My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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