you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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