Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
