Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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