Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
