i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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