Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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