So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Don't make out with my wife yet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
