I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
