Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
