He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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