I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just gift wrapped bread.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
