If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
