u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
