Too much gin, very little bucket
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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