I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize