rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize
