But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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