So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize