I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
