have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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