On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so that wasnt chicken after all
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
