You're earring is so big in my mouth
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
