I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
