her vagine was all disorganized.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
