I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Everyone says I win the strip club
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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