I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
