yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
