I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We left an ass print on the piano.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
