When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
