Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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