All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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