discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
