you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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