found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just gargled with NyQuil
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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