one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
