I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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