I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
