dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
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I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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