is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
