I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
