I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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