i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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