Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
