How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
