I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
