After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize