Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
