Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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