mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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