I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize