either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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