Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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