She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
