i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is the high leading the old right now
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
