Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
