The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize