just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
