So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
