Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
